What would you choose???

     I was just sitting on my office minding my own business.. When my boss who happens to be a man.. Came and out of nowhere started talking about how gay people are cool.. Of course there was some kind of sarcastic in his discussion because I am the only gay person in the whole department.. And with us were people who were religious and traditional.. Yet he expressed his opinion that he has nothing against them and as they say “It takes one to know one!! ”  I knew he was bisexual from the first time I met him.. Obviously he likes little boys Ann’s unthink that’s why he is cool with me and feel more comfortable talking to me than those who were working with him for years.. But of course he was interrupted by some who think that the society and religion reject such behavior and here of course I couldn’t shut my mouth and said : This is personal freedom and People should respect that..  !!  Almost everyone around disagreed with me saying that we should respect the society we live in and should not let such corrupted behavior be considered as normal or ok..  So I asked my boss: So do you think that people should live a double life… Pretend in front of others to be so net Hoyt hey are not and do all that you can and can’t imagine behind closed doors?? I This is hypocricy..  Why don’t ppl just be themselves and stop acting to be someone they are not just to satisfy ppl??  Why live a double life?? I
And my boss thought about what I said does a while and said : it’s hard greening our society people won’t let u be and your reputation will be ruined and go u will face many problems if you wanted to live the way you want without respecting the ppl and their believes!! I  said : Please don’t get religion into this.. It’s our ancient traditions and stone age mentality.. Your relationship with God is personal and between you and Him..  Noone should interfere but should watch his own actions and behavior and stop judging others.  People should turn the mirrored toward themselves and look at theirbiwn faults instead of zooming at others and work on improving themselves instead of preaching and forcing their opinions on other  … But he looked at me and said, : Danny if you want to survive in here and be part of this society then you should live this double life to survive cause ppl here will not let you be!!
I ended up the conversation by saying that I won’t spend my life playing a role and pretending to be something I’m not to satisfy others..  This is who I AM TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME,!!! I
And he said : then you will live a hard life.. Unless u move out and live in another country!! “Argentina ” I said.. He smiled and said well if you can then do it..!!
What do you think??   He is not the only one who told me that…  Is thatcher solution to be myself without others bothering me and my family feeling ashamed of me.. And the society reject me and consider me freak?? I
I heard his talk.. And I know that he is trying to get a msg to me.. And the msg is received.. But is this is the only solution??
Tell me what do u think??

Love In the Air…

   Nowadays true love is hard to find.. I personally reached a point in my life  when I started to believe that true love doesn’t exist in the heart of man.. And maybe what I’m saying is true to some point.. Cause in this age where everything can be  bought and sold  where everything has its price and nothing is for free..  And nothing is supposed to be for free..  There must be a price to pay for everything cause this is how things are supposed to be..  The world now is materialistic and money runs the show and controls everything..  Now.. Everything is done as a deal..  Business deal.. Even marriage and partnership..  Most of them are..  Men want one main thing from women and are willing to do everything to get it..  Women on the other hand want to be settled and well provided for..  They would love whoever their hearts may choose but will only marry one who will provide for them a better life and easy.. Luxurious living which  they can brag about and depend on to save her from their miserable lives at home and  take them away to a new place to a new life far away different than the one they have experienced in their youth…  Most women look at marriage in this view but there are others who would work on their own to improve their lives and make their own living.. Working hard.. Independent and feel that the existence of a man in her life is unnecessary to make it better..  Because in this time men and women are no longer different and noone  is better than the other.. We are equal and women do not need a man to make her feel fillfulled or happy.
     I looked for love since an early age cause I come from a big family and to my parents I was just another number in the house.. Especially since I was the quite type of kid who expected them to come for me and didn’t want to bother them with my own shit nor felt that they would understand me or help me understand anything.. Cause from where I come from.. Stupid old traditions are still important and people respect  and do them without questioning..  Just like in any small society all what parents care about is what will others say.. And they would rather live in a lie pretending to be someone they are not just to avoid  gossip and ruining their reputation..  So they live here like saints but when they travel.. They would be themselves and do all the things they want to do  .. But when they are here and among the people.. They would put on the mask and avoid getting the wrong kind of attention.. And they think it’s OK.. They live a double life where here they are part of the society and do what is expected of them to do.. But during vacations.. They can give themselves a break and be what they are without pretence or act…
I hate doing that and take it to be hypocrisy.. Because I refuse to live my life to please others.. And this is mainly why I do not get along with the rest of the people and feel like a freak among them..  But Fuck it.. I would not waste my life and live it to please others or expect their approval and acceptance…
As I said I learned things the hard way.. Taught myself everything and had noone who spared me his or Jerrine to teach me about the way of the world.. So I learned it myself and the more failure and heartache.. The more I learned and was able to understand the reailty of things and of people..
People disappointed me the most.. As lovers or friends that I reached a point when I lost hope in love and unconditional love.. But I also learned something.. That what you give is what you get..  And if you intend  well  or whatever you keep on mind and look for..  You will find..  Believe in love.. And look for it.. And you will find it.. It’s there and can be found but you have to have good intentions and know what you want and looking for.. And in the right time.. What you are looking for will come to you  and fill  your heart with what you need or looking for…
Believe in love…