Nowadays true love is hard to find.. I personally reached a point in my life when I started to believe that true love doesn’t exist in the heart of man.. And maybe what I’m saying is true to some point.. Cause in this age where everything can be bought and sold where everything has its price and nothing is for free.. And nothing is supposed to be for free.. There must be a price to pay for everything cause this is how things are supposed to be.. The world now is materialistic and money runs the show and controls everything.. Now.. Everything is done as a deal.. Business deal.. Even marriage and partnership.. Most of them are.. Men want one main thing from women and are willing to do everything to get it.. Women on the other hand want to be settled and well provided for.. They would love whoever their hearts may choose but will only marry one who will provide for them a better life and easy.. Luxurious living which they can brag about and depend on to save her from their miserable lives at home and take them away to a new place to a new life far away different than the one they have experienced in their youth… Most women look at marriage in this view but there are others who would work on their own to improve their lives and make their own living.. Working hard.. Independent and feel that the existence of a man in her life is unnecessary to make it better.. Because in this time men and women are no longer different and noone is better than the other.. We are equal and women do not need a man to make her feel fillfulled or happy.
I looked for love since an early age cause I come from a big family and to my parents I was just another number in the house.. Especially since I was the quite type of kid who expected them to come for me and didn’t want to bother them with my own shit nor felt that they would understand me or help me understand anything.. Cause from where I come from.. Stupid old traditions are still important and people respect and do them without questioning.. Just like in any small society all what parents care about is what will others say.. And they would rather live in a lie pretending to be someone they are not just to avoid gossip and ruining their reputation.. So they live here like saints but when they travel.. They would be themselves and do all the things they want to do .. But when they are here and among the people.. They would put on the mask and avoid getting the wrong kind of attention.. And they think it’s OK.. They live a double life where here they are part of the society and do what is expected of them to do.. But during vacations.. They can give themselves a break and be what they are without pretence or act…
I hate doing that and take it to be hypocrisy.. Because I refuse to live my life to please others.. And this is mainly why I do not get along with the rest of the people and feel like a freak among them.. But Fuck it.. I would not waste my life and live it to please others or expect their approval and acceptance…
As I said I learned things the hard way.. Taught myself everything and had noone who spared me his or Jerrine to teach me about the way of the world.. So I learned it myself and the more failure and heartache.. The more I learned and was able to understand the reailty of things and of people..
People disappointed me the most.. As lovers or friends that I reached a point when I lost hope in love and unconditional love.. But I also learned something.. That what you give is what you get.. And if you intend well or whatever you keep on mind and look for.. You will find.. Believe in love.. And look for it.. And you will find it.. It’s there and can be found but you have to have good intentions and know what you want and looking for.. And in the right time.. What you are looking for will come to you and fill your heart with what you need or looking for…
Believe in love…
The doors Of Perception 